me: hmm i wonder what's going on at facebook
everyone: new year new me
georgianprep asked: i was scrolling through my dash and i saw the monogrammed cup post and "Emma" caught my eye so i go to your blog and i see that your name is Emma!! Mine is too! I don't know why I'm so excited but Emma isn't a common name where i live and it's funny to come across other Emmas. :)
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, God, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
If someone would just get me a moose pillow pet...
Which is in 14 days… I would love them forever. I already asked my own sisters if they would get me one and they said no.
Anonymous asked: 14 and 19!